The Sorrows of a Prince
by Rioxujaa
Summary: Riku is destined to become the Prince of an Empire he does not want. He runs away with Sora and they have misadventures.


Welcome to my story.

I do not own Kingdom Hearts. Kingdom Hearts is © Disney Media and Square-Enix.

Don't kill me, please.

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The hooded figure descended the dank, musty steps of the abandoned and grisly tower briskly, wanting to reach its destination and leave its current position as quickly as possible. The cool, almost freezing air reminded one of the Poles. The hooded creature was going as fast as it could – if it went any faster, it would surely trip over its own long legs. Long, untidy silver hair poked out slightly from under the hood, although whatever lay behind it was unknown. It chuckled slightly and uttered words in an alien language. Suddenly, the cloaked enigma disappeared completely from view – it was nowhere to be seen. All that remained in the tower was an echo of inhuman laughter, chilling whatever it passed by.

In a far-off land, a small child sat on the windowsill of an enormous window curled up in a blanket. He was counting the crystalline stars that hung perpetually in the sky, having nothing better to do. His room was filled with countless nick-nacks and treasures from ages past and long forgotten. They were his father's, but they belonged to him now. The child could sleep none, and an attendant was sent up to make sure he would be all right. The tall, lean woman was standing behind him, keeping him company.

"Don't you think it's your bedtime?" she said.

He gave no response to the question.

"I'm talking to you!" The attendant snapped, mentally begging for one iota of attention.

"...Stop, you'll save some energy." The child responded despondently.

"…yes, Master. Is there anything I may get for you?" She asked, knowing she could not even touch the child without permission.

"No. Now, get out." The young master said, once again without looking at her.

She bowed stiffly, and, fuming, stormed out of the room and gently closed the door, having learned her lesson more than once. Outside, she unleashed a flurry of colorful language that the child, although he had an advanced intellect, could not even begin to comprehend at his age.

The boy sighed, bored with the circumstances of his life. He was the son of the King of Clashing Waves, of the Oceanic Empire, and someday all of it would be his.

This child of the ocean felt that "someday" was too soon.

Cursing his blasted fate and his psychotic sadist of a father and the braindead bimbos that were his people that he would someday rule and the state of humanity, he contemplated leaping off of the windowsill upon which he sat into the constant swirling tides of the Namekko Whirlpool.

He decided to see where the crazy road trip called life would take him.

Around a decade later, his sisters were huddled together under the stars, sitting around a campfire. Their topic of discussion: The Baron of Bishounen, the Captain of Cute, the Suami of Sexy, the Headmaster of Hotness, the Prince of Perfection, Riku.

"Don't you think it's weird how he hasn't had any girlfriends?" The older said suspiciously.

"I think he'd look totally hot doing porn," the younger commented dismissively, idly chewing her hair.

"Oh please, you think snails look totally hot doing porn," the elder retorted sarcastically.

"Hey, those WERE hot snails!"

"Whatever. You're a furry, what do you know?"

"At least I'm not a DYKE! DYKE, DYKE, DYKE!"

"You're gonna get it now!"

The younger sister attempted to run away, but to no avail. She was quickly tackled by her elder, being shoved to the ground in the process. They rolled around, playfighting, giggling the entire time. Suddenly, they both shared an epiphany.

"What if he's gay?" they both blurted at the same time.

"What if who's gay?"

The topic of their discussion happened to pass by and hear the last comment. His long, silver-white hair was accentuated by the moonlight, the moon's beams shining upon his perfectly sculpted face. Riku was clad in little more than a large t-shirt and a pair of boxers. They were getting quite a view of his "goods n' wares", but they had to quickly avert their eyes before they received a massive nosebleed. They froze like deer in headlights, and, barely managing to stop the drool from reaching the grass, they quickly came up with an excuse for their topic.

"What…if…the gardener's gay?" The elder sister quickly said, wanting to get Riku away so they could continue their conversation sister to sister.

"Y-yeah! We've seen him ogling the head chef on a number of occasions! Wanna help us catch him in the act?" The younger sister offered, hoping Riku would decline.

"Actually, I have nothing better to do. Let's go." He started to walk off, expecting the sisters to follow him.

The elder sister promptly gave the younger a good fwap on the head.

"Ow! What was that for!" She whispered to her older sister.

"That's for incriminating ME!" She made a small "hmph" sound while folding her arms across her rather developed chest.

'Shit! I need an excuse…' the younger sister thought furiously. 'I got it!'

"On second thought, I'm a little tired tonight, how about you, big 'sis?" She nudged gently, hoping her senior would catch the drift.

"Yeah, you're right!" She faked a yawn midway through the sentence. "I'm gonna hit the hay now."

"Oh, ok. We can do it tomorrow!" Riku said enthusiastically. This made both sisters cringe in fear, because it would be more pleasing to the nose and the eye to be staring right into a rhino's anus than to merely glance at the gardener.

What they didn't know was that there was going to be a change of staff very shortly…

The day after that, the gardener was fired for a number of reasons:

He smells funny.

He constantly stares creepily at Rinoa, the chef.

He doesn't do his job properly.

He smells funny.

He's generally unfriendly.

He bathes once every five days.

Naturally, another gardener was hired as soon as possible, and Riku was to attend the interview, seeing as he would shortly be taking over his father's duties. The new gardener was to arrive any moment now.

A lithe figure stepped through the door, and Riku's jaw dropped.

"Oh. My. God," he uttered.

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Who's going to be the new gardener? Who are Riku's sisters? Who or what is that hooded thing? (P.S. It's not who or what you think ;) Find out next time! …Or maybe after that.


End file.
